Twosome Tinsel
by HalfASlug
Summary: Ron leaves Harry and Hermione alone to decorate a Christmas tree. What could possibly go wrong? Trio friendship fic.


_A/N: Here is some silly trio fluff I wrote because life is being all lifey. Due to the lifey-ness of my life, I'm not going to be able to update for a couple of weeks and my message replying may be a bit later than usual so sorry. I just wanted to post this now so you all knew I was still alive._

_Hi!_

_Oh, it recently came to my attention that people might not be getting alerts so just so you all know, all my multi-chapter fics are complete except for Nineteen Days Later, which is on chapter 2. Hope this ends confusion._

_Finally, if you are one of the three people who haven't heard me singing this from the rooftops, Seven Simple Years has been nominated for Best Ron, Best Hermione and Best Romance at the Romione Awards on Tumblr and voting is now open. Vote for me and I will be happy. If you don't vote me then I won't be as happy but still reasonably jolly. And check out the other nominees while you're there; there's some AMAZING stories to be found._

* * *

_Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns Harry Potter and the world's greatest tree house. Seriously. Google it._

* * *

**Twosome Tinsel**

The first of December found Harry and Hermione in the drawing room of twelve Grimmauld Place, staring at a bare Christmas tree, neither of them sure what to do. Despite Hermione's insistence that they really didn't have to put up anything for at least another week, Ron's child-like enthusiasm had convinced her that the sooner their Christmas decorations went up, the better. Harry hadn't minded either way; as long as he never found out exactly what Ron had done to change Hermione's mind, then he was happy.

Harry and Ron had managed to get a decent sized tree from Mundungus, not wanting to know where he had got it from, and had put it in the corner of the room. Hermione, who didn't know who they got the tree off and the boys sincerely hoped it stayed that way, had been in charge of finding decorations. When they had gathered that evening to start decorating, Ron had taken once look at the selection of tasteful baubles and tree ornaments and had announced he was going to the Burrow to get some 'proper decorations,' leaving Harry and Hermione to start the decorating process without him.

"I've never actually decorated a tree before," Harry said thoughtfully as the two of them stared at the tree about five minutes after Ron had left.

"Really?" asked Hermione, sounding surprised. "How come?"

Harry shrugged. "Dursley's never let me, Prefects decorate the Hogwarts ones and as for the Christmas I was at the Burrow, I had to fight the twins and Ron for decorating jobs. You can imagine what I was left with… _Gnome guarding,_" Harry mumbled under his breath.

Hermione thought it was best if she didn't know what the Weasley brothers had used a gnome for or why Harry had to guard it so she didn't ask.

"Well, I always helped my parents with our tree, so I know all about having to space out the decorations correctly and to have a proper balance of the different colours. It's one of the benefits of being an only child," she added with a small smile. "At least this way we can make a good start."

"We might even be done before Ron gets back," Harry said hopefully. He didn't much fancy seeing any arguments that Ron and Hermione started over decorating a tree. They could make entire mountain ranges out of mole hills and something told him this situation was asking for trouble.

Hermione didn't share his view` and she shook her head. "We can't do it all without him. I promised to let him do the star," she said in a slightly embarrassed voice.

"The star?" Harry questioned, again not wanting the details of Ron and Hermione's relationship. "Why does he want to do the star so badly?"

Hermione's face lit up like it always did when she was asked a question she knew the answer to. For a moment, Harry thought he could've been back in school. "The star is like the finale and it is usually a bit of a contest to see who gets to do it at the Burrow apparently. My parents always let me put the star on top but that was probably just another perk of being an only child."

The idea of the seven Weasley children fighting over who got to put the final touch to their Christmas tree was enough to make Harry reconsider ever wanting to have a family of his own.

"Fine," Harry sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "We'll let Ron have his moment. Shall we start the rest of it?"

"I suppose we should," Hermione replied happily. She walked over to the far corner of the room, where there were a pile of boxes and brought one back over towards the tree. "Seeing as you've never had the honour," she said, holding out the box to Harry, "I'll let you start."

Appreciating her gesture, Harry smiled at her and stuck his hand into the box of brightly coloured objects and pulled out a long string of bright orange tinsel.

"Now, how exactly do we go about-" Harry started before he realised that the tinsel was slowly creeping its way around his wrist. He looked down and, as if it had noticed that it had been caught, the tinsel then shot around Harry's waist, pinning his arms to his side. Meanwhile, the other end of the tinsel flew around the back of Hermione and pulled her towards Harry. Before either of them had had the chance to react, the previously innocent looking string of orange had tightly secured the two of them together so that they were face to shocked face.

"Erm…" Harry laughed nervously, feeling incredibly uncomfortable that he was pressed this closely to Hermione. "Sorry about that."

"That's quite all right," she replied in a small voice. The two of them stared at each other, breathing shallowly, desperately trying to get their minds to catch up with what had just happened.

As Hermione shook herself, she stared at Harry's chin and tried to work out what was going on. She attempted to wiggle her way loose but the tinsel had them wrapped up too tightly. Somewhere near her own wrist, she felt Harry try to free his arm but he had no luck either.

"What is this stuff?" he asked and Hermione felt his breath on her face.

"I'm not sure," she said, unable to keep the irritation out of her voice, "but I'm willing to bet that it has something to do with Ron storing the Wheezes' stock in the house again."

Harry looked down at Hermione's face, her brow furrowed and her jaw tense, and let out a snort of laughter.

"What exactly is funny here?" Hermione asked him sternly. "We are tied up, neither of us is able to use our hands and there is no one else here to help us!"

At this, Harry burst out laughing. "It is pretty funny," he sniggered in his defence when she glared at him. "It could be worse."

"How?" Hermione shrieked. "What if Ron comes back and sees us like this?"

Harry considered this for the moment before a horrible future stretched out in front of him. "He would never let us live this down."

"_No,_" Hermione growled at him. "I'm thinking more along the lines of my boyfriend coming back, along with his jealousy issues, and seeing me tied to another man!"

"It's me, Hermione," Harry scoffed. "Ron knows we're not going to jump on each other the moment he leaves the room."

"I know," she said, accompanied with an eye roll, "but I would rather he didn't see this. Don't you?"

While Harry knew that while Ron's old securities about his and Hermione's relationship were nothing more than a very bad memory, their current position wasn't far off that of the versions of them that had come out of the locket. Even though it wasn't intentional or even welcome, Ron's expression from that winter's night, swam into Harry's vision and he knew that any reminder of it for his best friend would be a horrible experience.

"Fine," Harry sighed. "What do you suggest we do?"

_Some things never change, _Hermione thought. They may be adults, living in their own house and fully-trained aurors but, whenever she was around, it was up to Hermione to get Harry and Ron out of trouble. Deciding it would counter-productive to point this out to Harry, Hermione looked down at the tinsel that had bound them and around at the surrounding area, trying to look for some way of escape.

"Well, it's definitely a Wheeze," she commented, nodding towards the box that she had dropped when the decoration had first attacked her. Harry followed her eye line and he too saw the purple 'W' on the side of the box. To the outside world, it was the logo for Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. To everyone who spent time with the Weasleys, especially George and Ron, it was a warning sign that should be heeded at all times. Hermione chastised herself for not following this essential rule to surviving life around the Weasleys.

"At least it's not a Black heirloom that we somehow missed," Harry said, attempting to shrug and failing because he couldn't move his arms.

Hermione bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying desperately to remember ever seeing or hearing about this product before. As Head Girl, she had had to deal with her fair share of Wheezes, much to Ron's amusement, but she could think of none that were remotely similar to the thing that currently had her captured.

Halfway through her musings, Hermione felt something hard, poking her in the stomach. Her eyes flew open to twice their normal size, and she stared up at Harry, horrified.

Feeling Hermione tense up against him, Harry looked at her just in time to see her face drain off all colour. For a moment he wondered if this was another side effect of the tinsel but then he realised what had caused her reaction.

"That's my wand," he hastily explained. This did nothing but cause Hermione's mouth to fall open slightly so he added, "The one with phoenix feather in it."

Harry fought the urge to say something about being flattered that she had been genuinely confused between him and a stick of wood nearly twelve inches long, but decided against it as the situation was uncomfortable enough as it was.

Hermione visibly relaxed as her cheeks turned pink and she looked away from Harry. "I knew that."

It had been a long time since Harry and Hermione had been awkward and unable to think of something to say to the other. Unfortunately, they had hit this bump in their friendship while tied together.

Hermione ducked her head under the pretence of searching for an escape while Harry continued trying to reach his wand in his pocket but it was no use. He could barely move his wrists, let alone his arms. Just as he was about to suggest them both trying to run in opposite directions, Harry spotted something behind Hermione's head, through the cloud of her hair.

"Wait, Hermione," Harry said excitedly and Hermione glanced up at him. "I think I can see a tag on this thing."

"Really?" she asked, her voice filling with optimism. "What does it say? Surely George would include instructions with his products."

Harry doubted Hermione's faith in the prankster but decided it was wise to say so. Still, it was the best chance they had; Harry couldn't help but feel a bit hopeful.

"I can't see it from here," he said, craning his neck. "Can you move to the left a bit?"

Hermione moved her head in accordance with Harry's directions and he leaned over her shoulder, trying to get a better view of the elusive piece of card he had caught a glimpse of. Unfortunately, it was obscured by the mass of hair he had put his face into.

"Can't you… can't you do anything about all of this?" Harry asked, spitting strand of hair out of his mouth.

"Oh yes," Hermione replied acidly. "Which hand would you like me to use to move it?"

Biting back a retort born of frustration, Harry tried to push her hair out of the way the best he could with his chin.

"Ouch!" Hermione cried. "You're glasses are scratching me."

"Would you like me to take them off and _then _read this label?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Well, stop complaining then."

"You were complaining not two minutes ago!"

"Look," sighed Harry, "we're not getting out of this if we start fighting."

Never one to back down from a fight, Hermione didn't say anything back but allowed Harry to fight his way through her hair to see the tag that was attached to the middle of the tinsel. Eventually, he could clearly see the jaunty writing on the red tag.

"_Twosome Tinsel,_"Harry read aloud. "_Got your eye on that special someone? Desperate to make a move but unable to find the proper moment? Well, worry no more because Twosome Tinsel is here to help! 'Accidentally' create an uncomfortably close situation where you won't be able to bottle out and they can't run away!_"

There was a moment of silence while they both absorbed the words.

"That," Hermione said, "is the stupidest thing I have ever heard."

"I don't know," Harry reasoned. "I can see the logic behind it."

"Logic!" spluttered Hermione. "It's juvenile! I can't see anyone actually _using _this thing!"

"So you, Ron, this and Christmas '95 doesn't sound good to you?" Harry asked, cocking his eyebrow. If he had to guess who had been the brains behind this invention, Harry would've put good money on Ron for this reason.

Again, Hermione's cheeks coloured and she avoided Harry's eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said in a dignified voice.

"Oh come on," laughed Harry, "it'd be better than that perfume he brought you."

Hermione's eyes snapped back to his, looking highly offended. "I liked that perfume!"

"Oh," Harry said, failing to keep the smile off of his face, "_that's_ why you never wore it…"

Under Harry's smirk, Hermione mumbled something about "saving it for special" and became very interested in something down by her left elbow.

Despite the humour of their current conversation, Harry was aware that finding the tag, while it had told them what they were facing, hadn't told them _how _to face it. Just as he was starting to consider a life attached to Hermione and how that would affect his relationship with Ginny and his career, Hermione started bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"What?" Harry asked, fighting to remain upright.

"I found a knot!" she exclaimed. "If we can undo it-"

"-then we can untangle ourselves!" Harry enthused. "Hermione, you're a genius!"

She had the good grace to look humble as well as proud. "Well, it's not my greatest achievement…"

"Right now, it is," Harry laughed. He looked down to where Hermione had been talking about and saw the small bundle of tinsel by her wrist. "Can you reach it?"

Hermione bit her lip as she struggled to twist her wrist so her thin fingers could reach the knot but she couldn't.

"What about you?"_  
_

Harry did the same thing and found he had a bit more movement in his right hand than she did. His fingers found the tiny part left at the end that he could thread through the knot.

Simultaneously, their eyes snapped to each other, both of them beaming.

"Do you think you'll be able to untie it?" Hermione asked, looking as though she was trying not to get her hopes up. "If you can loosen it then you'll be able to create a hole big enough to thread it through. Of course, if you get it wrong then it'll just make things worse so-"

"I'll give it a go."

Again, they both looked back to the tiny knot that was their only chance of escape and, as Harry began trying to thread the small end back through the knot, he sincerely hoped that Mrs Weasley had managed to stall Ron with some of her famous cooking.

* * *

Ron kicked the heavy front door of Grimmauld Place closed and began lumbering up the stairs with the large box of spare decorations he had managed to borrow off his mum. There was no way he was having a Christmas tree without the Father Christmas he had made when he was six on it somewhere, even if he only had one arm nowadays.

As he approached the top of the stairs, he hoped that Harry and Hermione hadn't managed to decorate most of the tree yet. He had taken longer at the Burrow than he had expected because his mum had got him to test her practice mince pies but he had made quick work of them. If they had put that star up, there was going to be hell to pay.

Readjusting his grip on the box so that he could open the drawing room door, Ron paused when he heard Hermione's impatient voice. He grinned. He was more aware than most what Hermione could be like when she had a plan that she wished to be followed to the letter and he wondered what state Harry was going to be in. Instead of going into the room and saving Harry, he decided to listen in on their conversation.

"Hurry up," he heard Hermione snap.

"I'll do it in my own time."

Ron had to stifle a laugh. Just as he had expected, Harry sounded like he was clinging to his last strand of patience. His amusement quickly faded when he heard the next part of their conversation.

"If Ron comes back and sees us…" Hermione worried.

"We'll have to make this quick then."

There was a pause where all Ron could hear was a slight rustling and he took a step closer to the door.

Harry made a grunted sound. "Stop wriggling!"

"Fine." Hermione's voice sounded just as frustrated as Harry's. "If you just put that in there-"

"Thanks. I have done something like this before."

As Ron listened to the words that were being said, he tried to work out what was going on. He had an idea but he couldn't possibly be right. They couldn't be… Ron gulped and tried to reassess the situation.

Ron knew that he had a problem with jealousy and occasional bouts of paranoia but, when he and Hermione had finally got together, he had made a real effort to curb both of these problems. Like he had practised, he tried to clear his head and remind himself that he trusted both of them and that he only thought what he thought because his mind seemed to live in the gutter, like everyone, from his mum to Hermione, had told him.

_No, _Ron thought, _it isn't what you think it is. There is a simple explanation. There's definitely a simple explanation._

"It's too small!" Harry's annoyed voice cut through Ron's thoughts.

_Definitely another explanation, _Ron thought more desperately still.

"You'll still be able to do it though?" came Hermione's anxious voice.

"I hope so."

"Good," she sniffed, "because this is becoming unbearable."

Ron's hand twitched over the handle. He wanted to know what was happening on the other side but at the same time was terrified. If his suspicions, that were surely crazy, were actually correct then he would rather gouge his own eyes out than see it but he still wanted to stop them. Two years ago, he wouldn't have hesitated to barge in, but now Ron wanted to prove that he had overcome his insecurities and that he truly did trust his best friend and his girlfriend.

"Why do you look so confused?" huffed Hermione.

"It's hard to see what's what with all this stuff on it."

Ron licked his top lip nervously. Any minute now, it would become clear what was happening and he would feel really stupid…

"Well," Hermione said in a voice of forced calm, "just relax and do your thing."

Harry chuckled. "Do my thing?"

"I'm trying to be supportive!" she snapped. "What do you want? Me to start chanting your name?"

"Couldn't hurt."

"Just concentrate. I know we're in an awkward position but if we work together, we can make it work."

Harry sighed as Ron mentally shook himself again.

"You can see this better than I can. Can you guide me in?"

Ron opened his eyes and saw that his hand had closed over the door handle and his knuckles were white. His mind was screaming at him to just open the door and end this torture but he couldn't, not until he had proof that he was wrong, that they weren't in there sha-

"No, Harry, not that hole!"

Without a second thought, Ron twisted the handle and barged into the room.

* * *

Just as Hermione corrected Harry's mistake, the door smashed open behind her and she span around to see what had caused the noise. Her sudden movements caught Harry off guard and he lost his footing and fell, dragging her down with him. With a painful sounding smack, Harry landed on his back and was head-butted by Hermione.

Her head still throbbing from the contact with Harry's face, Hermione looked towards the door to see a pale Ron, staring down at her with a nauseous expression on his face and a cardboard box under his arm.

"I'm only going to ask this nicely once," he panted, severely out of breath for some reason. "What the hell is going on?"

Still stunned at her boyfriend's sudden appearance, Hermione looked down at Harry. Their eyes met, as did their noses, and they both broke down in peals of laughter. Ron, who didn't appear to be able to see the joke, continued glaring at them so Hermione tried to cough herself into seriousness, a task made very difficult because she could still feel Harry's chest twitching beneath her as he tried not to laugh.

"Harry tried to seduce me," she attempted to say in a serious voice that was ruined by her continued giggling.

"Sorry, mate," Harry deadpanned, looking at Ron. "You know about my weakness for witches who _dig their elbows into my stomach"._

"Sorry."

Hermione readjusted herself so she wasn't hurting Harry the best that she could and looked up to see that Ron now looked very confused.

"You should recognise your own merchandise," she told him with her eyebrows raised.

"Twosome tinsel?" added Harry.

Ron, still frowning, looked down at the orange tinsel that was still wrapped tightly around the majority of Harry and Hermione's torsos. His expression went from dumbfounded to hurt in a split second.

"That's…" he swallowed, looking grave, "that's only supposed to work if there's an underlying attraction between at least one of the two people in the room."

Hermione felt her mouth fall open as the meaning behind Ron's words sank in. _Underlying attraction? _ It definitely wasn't coming from her, which meant…

Harry and Hermione both turned to look at each other again. Disgust and shock was plastered over their touching faces. Hermione stared into the green eyes that she knew so well and tried to find something -_anything_- to contradict what she had just discovered. When she didn't she cried out at the same time that he did.

"What?"

"No!"

They had been friends for nearly a decade. She trusted Harry with her life. At no point had she ever suspected or considered anything romantic could ever happen between them but now… now that she was finally with Ron and he was in love Ginny…

This threatened to destroy one of the friendships that Hermione treasured more than nearly anything… so why was Ron doubled over, laughing?

"Learn to take a joke," he choked out between guffaws.

"Ron Weasley," Hermione growled, "Get me out of this tinsel so I can strangle you with it!"

As Harry blew out breath of relief and dropped his head onto the floor, Ron leant back on the door frame and smirked at his two friends.

"That's just the motivation I need."

"Ron!"

"All right, all right…"

Sighing, he dropped the box he was holding and walked over to the two friends, still with a grin on his face.

"This is why you shouldn't decorate without a Weasley present," he said in mock-solemnity.

He withdrew his wand, found the knot that Harry had tried to undo and tapped it once. Straight away, the tinsel uncoiled and Hermione was able to roll off of Harry. Dusting himself off and readjusting his glasses, Harry stood up and, glaring at Ron, helped Hermione to her feet. Massaging her now-sore elbow, Hermione looked up to see that Ron was now playing with the tinsel, drawing figures of eight with it and twirling it around himself. The tinsel was like a living thing, dancing around him, but Ron seemed to have control.

"This stuff is easy to handle if you know how," he told them as he whirled a lasso above his head.

"We weren't really expecting to have to fight the decorations though," Harry grumbled.

"In this house?" Ron laughed. "I don't care how long it's been since it was all evil, I'm never too careful."

Hermione sighed and shook her head as Ron continued playing with the tinsel. Sometimes, not often but _sometimes_, she wondered if the years of uncertainty, tears and heartache it had taken to fall in love with Ron had actually been worth it.

"You should see me and George in the shop," Ron bragged, as the tinsel slide through the arms of his jumper and out of the other end. "We can have about three or four of these things on the go at one time. Look."

He flicked his wrist and the tinsel shot towards Hermione in an orange blur and wrapped around her waist, pinning her arms to her sides.

"Let me go, Ron," Hermione said in a bored voice.

Ron merely grinned and slowly began to pull her towards him, letting the other end of the tinsel curl up at his feet.

"Nah, I think I like-"

He cut himself off with a yelp of surprise when the end of the tinsel that was coiled on the floor, jumped up of its own violation, whipped around the back of him and caught Harry around the waist. The three of them looked at each other and, before they could move, the tinsel retracted, sandwiching Harry between Ron and Hermione.

As one, they stumbled before finding their balance.

Harry closed his eyes and hoped that this was all just a very bad dream. "This is like a really bad metaphor for the past seven years of my life."

"Ron," Hermione said in a voice of forced calm, "get us out."

When Harry didn't hear Ron reply straight away, his heart sank. It was only the three of them in the house, if they couldn't free themselves...

"Erm…"

"What?"

Ron mumbled something that neither of the other two heard properly.

"What was that?" Harry asked, dreading the answer.

"You can't get yourself out," Ron said, sounding scared. "Only someone who isn't caught in it can sort it out."

Harry opened his eyes and saw the look that Hermione was giving him and it suddenly became clear why Ron sounded like he did when he was near a spider.

"You're joking." Hermione wasn't asking a question. Ron merely grimaced in response.

"If only the _Prophet_ could see their G_olden Trio _now…" Harry joked in the hope that it could relieve some of the tension in the air. He looked from Hermione trying desperately not blow a gasket, to Ron wishing the floor could eat him whole and saw that it hadn't worked.

"So," he began awkwardly, "what do we do now?


End file.
